What is intentional living? Your guide to getting started.
If youβre anything like me, youβve probably fallen into bed many nights wondering where the day went. You were busy all day…but what did you actually do?
This is actually pretty normal (especially right now). We live in a world of constant distractions and noise, where being over-committed is worn like a badge of honor. Itβs hard to make progress on your goals when you canβt focus and itβs hard to make memories when youβre overstimulated and distracted. If this is how you’ve been feeling, please know that you are not alone!
But just because something is βnormalβ, doesnβt mean you have to accept it as YOUR normal. Thatβs where intentional living comes in.
Table of Contents
Why is intentional living important?
How to get started with intentional living
Tools to support intentional living
What is intentional living?
Intentional living is a lifestyle driven by awareness and choice. It begins by knowing yourself, your values, and your beliefs, and then making daily choices from that awareness, rather than letting distractions lead your life. And trust me, itβs not always easyβespecially if youβre in a particularly challenging season of your life. But thatβs why itβs called intentional living and not perfect living. Itβs about your daily intention, not perfection. In fact, intentional living can actually help you to feel calmer during times of stress.
The great thing about intentional living is that it looks different for everyone. You choose your values, your beliefs, your goals, your boundaries, your commitments and your reactions. And yes, this is harder (but not impossible) when you live and work with other people!
Why is intentional living important?
I believe that intentional living is what brings us fulfillment. Intentional living is all about knowing ourselves and living from our values, which consequently brings more meaning to our every day life. It forces us to pause and take stock of our lives in a way that we may not have ever done before. This is especially important in this day and age because we have so many sources bombarding us with images of what we should want in life. If weβre not paying attention, we can easily let someone elseβour parents, teachers, friends or the mediaβsteer our lives down a path that isnβt right for us.
You might not even be conscious of how much external sources have shaped your life. And you wouldnβt be alone in thisβweβre all affected to a degree. But this exactly why intentional living is so beneficial: it brings awareness to our choices. It makes the unconscious conscious. It helps us to see the ways we might be living for someone else or out of alignment with ourselves. It asks the questions so that we can find the answers. Most importantly, it reconnects us with our true selvesβthe true north star within us.
These are the 5 C’s of intentional living (according to me!)
Consciousness – When we start paying attention to our choices, we become more aware and more present.
Clarity – When we dig into whatβs important to us, decisions become easier to make and our path becomes clearer.
Connection – We feel more connected to ourselves and to others because weβre putting more of our attention on what matters.
Contribution – We feel more purposeful when weβre steering the direction of our lives instead of living in autopilot.
Contentment – Overall, we feel more joy and fulfillment when weβre mindful of our every day choices and actions.
How to get started with intentional living
So how do you begin living with more intention? Start with awareness.
Start by paying attention to the little choices you make each day that youβve probably been doing automatically for the most part. Why did you choose oatmeal for breakfast? What made you skip your morning walk? Why did you put off making that phone call? Donβt be tempted to think that the little stuff doesnβt matter. After all, our lives are made up of little moments. From a practical standpoint, starting with the small choices is easier because we usually have more control with them. (As opposed to something like your career, which probably requires a lot of effort to change.)
You might want to use the Notes app on your phone or just a regular notebook to jot down some of these thoughts so you can come back to them later. The goal isn’t to judge everything you’re doing, but rather to get curious about it. This step is all about gathering information.
Pay attention to the way you feel throughout the day too. How did you feel when you first woke up? Why did you feel frustrated by that e-mail from your boss? What made you smile today? These are all clues as to your values and whatβs important to you.
Begin to slow down. Especially when you catch yourself living on autopilot. Notice what you’re doing, take a breath and bring yourself back to the present. Ask yourself why youβre doing what youβre doing, and whether you want to continue doing it. Start noticing your habits, patterns and unconscious choices.
Of course, we donβt need to obsessively track everything, but donβt underestimate the effectiveness of simply being more aware as you go about your day. Youβll become more present and notice your thoughts as you move from task to task. Try not to judge yourself or be hard on yourself, like I mentioned, this exercise is simply to provide you with information: What choices am I making? What feels good? What doesnβt feel good? And why?
Tools to support intentional living
The next part of the process is capturing some of the information youβve been gathering so that you can use it to evaluate where youβre at and make adjustments if you want to. Here are some of the tools that Iβve found helpful with this:
Mindfulness and meditation – This is what youβve already been doing, aka bringing more presence and awareness into your life. You can make it a regular part of your life through a mindfulness or meditation practice if you like!
Journaling – One of the best tools to support intentional living IMO. Journaling can help you capture your thoughts, reflect on your day, dig through a challenge to find clarity, and track your progress.
Books, blogs and podcasts – It can be helpful to hear from other people who are also on this journey. If youβre anything like me, you probably donβt have a ton of friends and family members who are also interested in intentional living. So it can be nice to find other sources of inspiration!
Workbooks and worksheets – If youβre new to this work and feeling unsure of where to start, a workbook can be super helpful. Sometimes itβs nice to have something already laid out so that you can just follow the process.
Planners or Task Management Apps – Youβll want somewhere to keep track of your goals, intentions and actions as you start to make changes. This is totally personalβsome people love paper planners, others digital planners, other might prefer some sort of app that tracks your habits. Think about what would work best with your needs and personality.
Therapy, coaching or support groups – Sometimes this work can feel overwhelming, especially as you start to go deep into who you are, what you want, and why you do the things you do. Make sure that youβre getting the support you need.
Ultimately, itβs important to remember that intentional living isnβt a destination, itβs a lifestyle. Itβs a different way of thinking about your life. Itβs about noticing why you do the things you do and being more conscious about those things going forward. Itβs definitely NOT about perfection, but much more about the process. And if itβs not for you, thatβs totally ok. In fact, thatβs the pointβ¦knowing whatβs right for you and choosing your own path.
This is awesome ! Thanks for sharing. My 2024 βintentionβ is actually intentional living. So your post is on time!
That’s amazing Emy! Best of luck to you this year! <3